Not in the Boat Alone
Michael,
You've been kind enough to reply to many of my posts, so I'd like to return the favor if possible. Besides, we're both Appalachain mountain modelers, and we've got to stick together, right buddy?
Funny you should mention the bridge you've just started working on. I've got the same bridge to build on a 24" radius curve. It's been sitting in the box on my shelf now for about a year. Still need to dig up the motivation to get started. Not there yet. Don't know why, just isn't. But that's ok! There's no time clock for me to punch. No boss that says I've got to have a certain job done by a certain time. I get to set the jobs as well as the timelines. Isn't that great? Of course it is. My guess is that's how we all started when we first got into the hobby. We didn't worry about things, we just let things roll.
So what happens over time. Two things I think...
1) Building a model railroad, even a small one is not a sprint affair. It's more like a marathon. I was reminded of that the other day when someone asked when my my layout was going to be done, after having worked on it for a year and a half already. I just looked at them and said "Well it's never done, but maybe 5 years down the road it'll start to look like something." That shocked them, and they replied "I'd never be able to do that!" I think that says something for us as modelers. The fact that we even begin the railroad in the first place already puts us way beyond what many others would be willing to tackle.
Having actually run a number of marathons though, I can tell you, along the way there are plenty of times you just want to stop and quit. Keeping the mental toughness to keep going was one of the most difficult things about running a marathon, and that's only a race that last a number of hours! Not YEARS like a railroad! The fact that our minds sometimes just shut down and say "I don't want to keep going" is just due to the nature of the task. In a sense, it's natural. We just get tired. We need rest. Just as a runners body gets injured if they don't give it sufficient time to rest. I think we get "injured" as modelers when we just keep pushing ourselves, and don't listen when our minds says "I need a break from this thing!"
Which leads me to my 2nd point...
2) I have really come to appreciate MRH. Not only have I learned a lot about our hobby, but have enjoyed the comraderie of new friends, and the support people give you when you make a post. That's great. Wouldn't want to lose that for the world.
But I've also started to realize MRH is kind of like a two edged sword. It can also work against you. How? When you see the fantastic modeling others have done, and how much they seem to get done is what often appears so little time, it's easy to get frustrated. Frustrated with my limited abilities, and frustrated that my layout doesn't seem to get done as fast. (Probablly because I always end up doing things at least 2-3 times or more, before I finally get it right!) That works on you and can easily breed discontent with ourselves and our layouts.
When that starts to happen with me, and it has many times, that's when I step back and try to remember again who the boss of this railroad is. It's not others or MRH. It's me! (Well, my wife might disagree, but hopefully you get what I mean). We're not trying to race one another. We're not trying to be one another. If I don't want to work on the layout today, no need to feel guilty. I've got that right and freedom. If I don't want to work on the layout for a month, it'll still be there when I feel like working on it again. If I want to stop working on it all together, no prob, I'll enjoy what I've got. If I want to tear it down and quit, I can do that too!
Sure we might set goals for ourselves, we might have pictures in our mind of what we would like to try and accomplish. That's all well and good. But you know what the real fun of the railroad is? It's not so much ending up at a destination, it's the process of getting to that destination - the struggle in figuring out problems, being challenged beyond our current limits and growing as an individual (as I'm going through right now with my backdrop issues which you recently tried to help me with). Sure, the destination is nice, especially getting to run that first train around a recently completed mainline. When I got to that point I spent at least a month just running a train around and around the loop a million times. But eventually I started to get tired of having reached that destination, and was ready to move forward. Didn't run a train after that for 5 months, but was eager to construct more, and did! I felt rested and ready to tackle new projects. Rest - construct - rest - construct. Just like training for a marathon. Run - rest - run - rest. In running the rest is just as important as the training. Why should it be any different when it comes to building our railroads? It's not really. So don't get down on yourself when you don't feel like moving ahead. It's just your minds way of saying "I need rest!" Give yourself the rest you need, and my guess is when your heart/mind says it's ready, which will be different for each one of us, you'll move forward again on the layout with eagerness and joy!
Hope that helps, or at least gives you some more food for thought. Keep in touch! You're not in the boat alone!
Paul Krentz
N&W Pokey District, Sub 1 3/4