Interpersonal Relationship Skills
Well written, Joe.
I agree with your points but I think they're symptoms of a bigger issue where we have to put all the material items aside and look more directly at our social relationships.
It's always amusing listening to the old people talk about computer/video games and call it "just clicking a mouse" or saying things like "wouldn't you rather go race REAL cars in the woods?" Meanwhile, I'm on this box playing with eight other people, four of whom I've never met and three of whom are my good friends who I know solely through playing these games. When I used to play MMORPGs, we're looking at communities involving thousands of people the whole world over.
Interestingly enough, there are these forums were we get together and talk about our hobbies, where we have the same wayward outlook. We have friends and fans around the world, and this never phases us - and yet we can't see the same community revolving around the gaming sphere? You'd think at this point it would make sense to everybody here at the very least where the social interaction is...
In these regards, we have the old form, where you physically had to see and talk to the people you hang out with. This was social relationships even just twenty years ago. Today, the physical tangible world have become increasingly abstract, even if the satisfaction with that world has remained high [albeit with the new generation, because the old generation still wants the real thing]. And for good reason: we move around so much and the physical material costs so much to do anything that we can't afford to do everything in person with the real deal in our hands.
All of this being said, though, we have yet to address the social gap issue that is prevalent between the older generations and the middle generations. I've had a flight chief who hadn't spoken to his father in half a decade, and the idea of hanging out with the train club sounded too much like hanging out with people who reminded him of his dad - why would he want to hang out with those people?
It's easy to get kids involved - give them stuff or time on the layout and they're happy. It's much harder when you're dealing with a full grown adult who doesn't much want to be around you and you don't much want to be around them. If it's your own "kid," you can be pretty well guaranteed there will be no interest carried on directly. If it's someone else's "kid," you can pretty well guarantee they won't be at all receptive to the hobby and likely look crossed eyed at you as well.
The issue then comes down to our relationships with our children as they grow into adults and how that relationship is fostered as we grow older. Somewhere in there, Our way ot the Highway turns into "Later, Pops!" and they don't return. Or if they do return, it's because they're broke, out of work, and deep in debt, three conditions that directly impact how active someone is in this hobby. Or it's the parents who have to move in with the kids, again with the personal issues that come with that form of defeat. Underlying everything here are those personality "disorders" like anger management issues, depression, drug addiction, gambling addition, OCD, bi-polar, borderline personality, hygiene, apathy, in conjunction with other issues like theft, lying, etc. that you just can't so easily come back from. Yes, I have heard of parents stealing from their own kids, even going so far at to take credit cards out and using them.
The computer screen is very nice because it effectively means I don't have to physically be around someone who is not enjoyable in person. And if there is someone with a piss-poor attitude, I can turn him off by closing the screen. Arguments, disagreements, swipes, you name it, I'm insulated, and if it ever gets horrible, there's moderators who can shut things down quick. When you get into real physical spaces with real physical people, personalities can make or break the operation - and most certainly impact everyone's enjoyment.
It's tough being friendly with a real troll who's only real joy in life is poisoning the waterhole at every turn and watching the self-fulfilling prophecy come to fruition. Their swipes are likely to go right over the very young heads, but the teens get it [through they don't have the reserves to react appropriately] and the adults most certainly understand "fight or flight," whereas they either argue back or they say "Bye bye - I put up with this long enough when I was growing up. I don't have any further life to waste on THIS."
How do we foster strong social relations in the real physical community if curmudgeons and trolls are as real and prevalent in real space as they are on the Internet?
I don't have any answers to this quandry.